Self
23, reflections
Away from work. From an essay I wrote on my 23rd birthday, 14 September 2026. Read the full piece.
Taipei was the first. Japan, China, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand since.
Sketching, crochet, piano, FPS games.
Chinese and Japanese.
23
23 today. Everything was slow until I hit 20; after that it's been a race with time.
It's hard to have a conversation with yourself, so I keep myself busy enough not to. I think it's okay to keep running, as long as you're alive.
tattoo
I got a tattoo on my birthday, in Japan, while I was there for a conference: red spider lilies, Higanbana.
They bloom around the autumn equinox, so in Japan they're tied to ancestors and the afterlife. Another name, 曼珠沙華 (Manjushage), comes from Buddhist tradition: a celestial flower from heaven.
What kind of tattoos would I like?The most meaningless ones. I'm tired of making sense of everything.
not enough
I live with a sense of urgency that I'm not doing nearly enough. I don't hate it. It keeps me driving.
As a kid I knew I couldn't help my parents much, but doing well made them happy. I've kept going ever since.
What's actually enough?Idk.
travelling
For someone who used to rot in bed, I've come to love travelling. My first solo international trip was to Taipei on my 22nd birthday; 7–8 countries since.
I skip the tourist spots and wander random streets. It makes me uncomfortable, and that's the point. Acceptance is the only way to life.
food
Food is BEST BEST BEST. That's my best vocabulary.
hobbies
Drawing (sketching most of all), crochet, piano and harmonium, and learning Chinese and Japanese.
regrets
I don't think I have any. I don't know if I'll ever live a happy life, but there's no way I'll live a regretful one.
I'll keep making mistakes and keep accepting them.